Still home in pain...

I'd love to say I'm feeling better, but that would be a flat out lie. I rarely take a sick day from work, and for me to miss a day the first week my teachers are back is unthinkable. 

But here I am in bed with my four-legged nurse, nauseous, dizzy, feverish, and with the worst headache I've ever had. Oh, and my cramping is still there despite the codine. Body, what are you doing to me?!!

It's the guilt that is the hardest to overcome. I constantly feel guilty, especially for not being at work. My teachers need me. I need to make a good first impression on everyone at school. I need to be available to everyone. The hard lesson I continue to learn, though, is that I can't take care of anyone else if I don't take care of myself first. My health and well-being have to come first, particularly now.

If I'm honest with myself, I know deep down everything will be OK at work. I will have plenty of time to show them all I know and can do. They've already seen parts of it this summer. Now, I have to be patient and kind with my body. The nurse thinks that a lot of my pain is due to the extreme rates my Beta is falling - from 771 on Monday to 296 yesterday. My body is going through quite the ordeal and change, and I can't push it too hard. And I promise not to!

I received some good food for thought this afternoon from a dear friend:

- Grown up life sucks. But you know this is just a challenge to test you. And you will pass the test. Some day you will look back and remember when, and all of this will seem so far behind you. These tragedies are horrible and heartbreaking. But we do emerge and things do work out. Just really blows to have to go through all the crap. Sometimes that reason is so hard to see. But you got this, woman. Because you're a rockstar!

And a great quote for the day for all warrior women:

"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm." Winston Churchill

I certainly believe that!