On God's terms...

I woke up this morning with an intense urge to talk to God. My husband and I have gone to church sporadically at best the last few months. I used to be a regular church goer who cantored and sang in the church choir. I miss that. I miss my conversations with God. I miss worshipping through music.

This morning, we are headed to church with a new attitude and mindset, ready to accept our special child whenever God deems it is time. I only hope His plan for our children is in the near future. Something deep down tells me it is.

It was also fitting that I woke up to a poignant email from one of my oldest and dearest friends. Here is an excerpt that really spoke to me:

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I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing. I've been thinking of you but have also wanted to give you space. I know that much of our conversation the other night applies here especially the part about "giving it up to God" but that doesn't necessarily make it better. 

Just know that I (as well as many other people) are here for you and love you. You have always been a friend that I have looked up to and admired. You have that "go getter" attitude that I have at times envied. So, if there is one thing I know about you :-) it is that she gets what she goes after. What we are all learning through life is that while we may work hard and do well, getting what we want doesn't always come on our terms. So in this case, you will get what you want ... it just is going to be on God's terms. 

I love you and you are constantly in my thoughts, reach out if/when you need anything.

Love you, write/call anytime, I loved talking to you the other night. Thank you for being there for me.

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I am a warrior woman, and God knows that. It's the patience and self-kindness piece I need to work on. And I will.