Surprisingly, my husband and I are handling it better than expected, especially him. He truly is a rock of strength, calm, and hope. It really is amazing. He had a revelation a few days ago that filled him with a sense of calm. At last, he has found peace with not letting fear and anxiety rule his emotions and daily life. He is moving forward filled with hope, confidence, and strength, knowing that we will be parents one day. Invite love in, and it's unbelievable what can happen.
Aside from an incredible husband, I have been blessed with so many words of support from readers and close friends in this difficult time.
I'd like to anonymously share some of these sentiments with you in the hopes it can bring you optimism and peace as well:
* Infertility is an emotional roller coaster for all patients, you’re not alone in the way you feel. The most common reason cited in the literature as to why couple’s drop out of fertility treatment is because of the emotional toll it has taken on them. This is why I continue to encourage you to hang in there; you will get there. We don’t always have the answers as to why this is happening to us, much like a healthy and young person doesn’t expect or understand why they may have a cancer diagnosis, but we need to remain perseverant and trust that even without the answers, you will be a mother. I used the cancer example because a lot of research has been done on the parallels between cancer treatment and infertility treatment as far as the psychological processing of the journey. Allow yourself to grieve; it’s okay to experience the ups and downs day-to-day as you move through this process.
* I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how heartbroken you and Greg are. I know how badly both of you want to start this next step in your lives, and it makes me so sad to know that you have to go through this pain again. Please let me know if there is anything at all I can do. In the meantime, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
* Prayers to you and your family! It is wonderful you are staying positive! Bless you!
* I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending prayers and well wishes. (((hugs)))
* I'm so sorry!! Sending prayers your way!
* Oh no!! I am soo sorry!! Praying for peace through this for you.
* You are the most upbeat person I have ever met!
* ... know that miracles DO happen. Ironically an atheist friend recently told me "Let go and let God".. of course, he didn't mean it in a religious sense. Just that there are things we can control, including our reaction to things.. and things we can't, which includes other people's behavior or big events in life. Wishing you a miracle, warrior woman.. you are stronger than you realize..
* I am so deeply sorry...It's been such a hard journey for you. Praying for you both. Lots of love and hope; sometimes things take more time than we can understand. That's the lesson I and friends keep learning all around me lately. Keep the faith.
* You are a strong woman. You are going to be okay. You were meant to be a mommy and you will be. Stay strong, love.
* You are amazing! Snd you will be a fabulous mother. When a baby is ready to stick it out for the full term and join us here on Earth, he or she will have the support of two beautiful spirits behind him or her, guiding and protecting always...You already have been a fabulous mother! Don't think I don't know those tiny ones feel your amazing love!!!
* Stay strong, keep your head up, and try to stay optimistic. Words can't explain how shitty it is, but I really do believe everything happens for a reason.
And finally....
“When God takes something from your grasp. This is not a punishment, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence. "The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."
I love you all.
And here is a photo as a final farewell to the Bean whom we hoped for but wasn't meant to be (It shows the 6 week old gestational sac they photographed yesterday):
Kay- I am so sorry for your loss. All of the words of support you have gotten are so true- you are one of the nicest, happiest and upbeat persons I know. When I think of you, I only picture you with a smile. You will be a wonderful mother someday, I know in my heart it will happen for you. Meanwhile, as you said- you are a warrior woman and you have a great support system around you to help you through the tough times to make it to the happy times!
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