My journey continues....

Like 10-15 percent of the American population, I am struggling to get pregnant. The infertility club is never one that I wanted to join but gradually had to admit membership in earlier this year.

My fertility journey began in February 2012, when my husband and I decided to start trying to have a baby. I remember that first month; I was so confident, so hopeful, so positive that we would get pregnant right away with no problems. I even told some people this might be the last time I would be drinking for awhile. Little did I know what was in store!

When my period didn't arrive on time in March 2012, I must have spent over $100 on various pregnancy tests to try to get that elusive positive result I assumed would appear. No such luck. My hopes were dashed on a spring break trip down to Florida to visit my parents. Aunt Flo appeared with vigor, and I was devastated. I cried for hours, trying to muddle the sounds of my tears in my pillow. The hubby cried a bit too.

For the next five months, he and I boarded an emotional rollercoaster ride entitled "Trying to Get Pregnant." Inevitably, there were soaring highs and devastating lows, especially when Aunt Flo arrived or yet another pregnancy test said "Not pregnant." In the process, I tried to stay busy and keep my life as normal as possible. Still, I felt an undeniable sadness and hole in my heart for the missing piece of our family -- a baby.

In late August, the school year started, and so did a very difficult transition period for me. As a Literacy Resource Teacher wearing mutiple leadership hats and teaching 100 students in a high-poverty urban middle school outside Washington, DC, I became stressed, overwhelmed, and then eventually clinically depressed. Three hospital visits, daily medications, and weekly therapy helped, but my husband and I basically went through hell. Thankfully, I emerged from this darkness with more resilience and inner strength than I thought possible.

Then came the unforgettable day on Tuesday, November 27, 2012. My period was late, my boobs were sore, I felt nauseous, and I felt different....just different. Sure enough, the very faint second line on the pregnancy test confirmed my suspicions were accurate. I was pregnant!

I began to think that the lessons I learned in the fall was the last remaining "test" before it was "my time" to get pregnant. Slowly, I began sharing the wonderful news with both sets of parents, close friends, and a few trusted colleagues. Like us, they were over the moon happy for us.

Entering Christmas break, the hubby and I were extremely content and busy. We had multiple weddings to attend up north and looked forward to quality time with his family in Connecticut over the holidays. All went well....until I started bleeding heavily. The blood just kept coming, and then powerful, vicious cramping began. I ended up miscarrying on Christmas Eve, of all days. I was 8 weeks and 2 days pregnant.

The miscarriage was one of the most painful events I've endured, as it was for the hubby. I spent the next few months trying to stay optimistic and take advantage of this "very fertile" time. I visited online support groups, read a handful of interfility/loss books, connected with a colleague at school who also suffered a miscarriage, resumed my accupuncture appointments, practiced gentle yoga, ate right, and tried to keep my exercise moderate. I wanted to create the best conditions possible for my next pregnancy to happen -- and go to full term.

Now, it's June 2013. We have gone over five months with no such luck with getting pregnant again. In early April, we decided to get tested at Shady Grove Fertility to rule out any other problems with either of us. The tests all came back normal, putting us in the "unexplained infertility" category. Our doctor suggested starting Clomid and our first IUI cycle, which we are currently in the middle of. Our journey continues, and we are trying to stay as positive as possible that we WILL -- and can -- have a child.

Writing has always been a therapeutic medium for me, and I hope that my story can allow other women to know and recognize that they are NOT alone in this infertility journey. Together, sharing our stories can help us be more informed, comfortable, confident, and empowered. I look forward to documenting my journey and hope you enjoy my story along the way.

As George Washington Carver boldly stated, "Where there is no vision, there is no hope." Together, we are stronger and more capable of enduring whatever comes our way in our fertility and life journeys. Keep the faith and hope alive each and every day!

More to come very soon....