Pregnancy Social Media Etiquette

As aforementioned, Facebook can be an evil, soul- and time-sucking abyss, especially when it comes to fertility. Every time I log in, someone else has announced their pregnancy or posted a bazillion baby pics. Since these posts tug at my heart strings and generally piss me off, I've decided to compose a list of what to do and not do on social media outlets regarding your pregnancy. Here it goes:

1. DON'T post your positive pregnancy test strip. That's gross and far too early to announce your news to the world.

2. DON'T post your first sonogram picture as your pregnancy announcement. I mean, do you really want your womb visible to the world?!

3. DO wait until your second trimester to make your news official. Why risk it?!

4. DON'T announce your pregnancy in a overly cheesy, personal, or obnoxious way (ie: "Guess who has strong, healthy swimmers that efficiently attacked and dug into my egg? My hubby! We've created a baby!"). No thank you.

5. DON'T link any of your annoying pregnancy apps to your FB timeline. No one but you cares about what size fruit your fetus currently is this week.

6. If not pregnant, DON'T obsessively read pregnancy posts or announcements by others (this one courtesy of hubby).

7. DON'T announce that your pregnancy was a complete surprise. It makes the rest of us feel like shit.

8. DON'T comment on someone's photo and ask if they're pregnant. If she is , she'll tell you; I promise.

9. DON'T ever comment on how much weight a pregnant woman is or is not gaining or how big or small her baby bump is. That's territory you should ALWAYS stay clear of.

10. DON'T post intimate breast feeding photos. It weirds us normal people out.

11. DON'T ever post a picture of you in labor or giving birth. There's a reason we are all still scarred from that infamous birthing shot in Knocked Up.

12. DON'T overshare details of each and every pregnancy symptom. Please spare us.

13. DON'T post what celebrities are due around the same time as you. It spoils our weekly US Weekly reading.

14. DON'T complain about being pregnant or how sick your baby is making you. Simply deal with it and shut the hell up. Thanks.

15. DON'T post surveys or polls about your baby's gender or potential names. Just get it over with, and tell us when the time is right.

I'm sure you may call this list a bit bitter, but I'm not apologizing for it. Anyone struggling with TTC will understand.

Anything else I can add to this glorious list??