It's no secret. I have an impulsive personality. I often do things on a whim, especially when it involves online shopping (I'm a recovering addict on that front and should be banned from Amazon for life). I often act before I truly think about the consequences. Combined with my OCD and Type A personality, this can be a disastrous mix.
Take, for example, my need to "nurture" things. Growing up, I had a pet-sitting service where I took care of all my neighbors' pets beginning in 5th grade. I was going to be a veterinarian. Now I'm a middle school English teacher. It's OK; I've gotten over it. Somewhat. Anyway, my need to nurture has often resulted in me bringing various pets home, from guinea pigs, a puppy, and a cat to two ferrets, whom we adopted in April.
At the time, the ferrets sounded like a fantastic idea -- they are smart, hilarious, cute, and could easily make you laugh. Plus, they get along well with cats (We have one) and don't quite require the level of commitment of a dog (Kinda). My determination to get these ferrets happened quickly and resulted in one of the worst fights of my five-year marriage. I wanted these little guys desperately. My husband? Hell no.
My husband is a smart man. He knows and understands that I always eventually get what I want after he becomes too exhausted to argue or fight anymore. Yes, he gave in to the ferrets. Now, what has happened? The ferrets are gone, since they saw our entire new house as a bathroom they could shit all over. In fact, when we were in the Outerbanks for Memorial Day, not only did the ferrets somehow escape from their secure cage (See? I told you they were smart!), but they also knocked down the pet gate and had free reign over their house. The spot they decided to poop the most on? Why, Greg's office, of course! As you can imagine, the ferrets were gone within 24 hours of us arriving back home.
While also an impulsive decision on my part, acquiring our rescue cat has been a source of great joy to both of us. That's an example of a time where my impulsivity and persistence paid off to both of our benefits. The ferrets? Not so much.
Luckily, I didn't impulsively decide to stop taking my birth control pills and get pregnant without telling the hubby. That would be bad. Very bad. The decision to want a child and try to start having one came over time. Yes, I was ready first, but Greg was not too far behind last February. So, I'm thinking maybe we should have been more impulsive when we were younger. I probably would have already had a child by now! Oh, cruel reality.
Since TTC, I now have a severe urge to purchase ovulation kits and pregnancy kits every time I walk into CVS (which is often, since I banned myself from Target, which was toxic to my impulsive spending tendencies). I gave into this urge last March to a huge extreme when I spent over $100 in pregnancy tests. Now, ladies, if you're not pregnant, it doesn't matter how many times you take a pregnancy test. The result is still going to be the SAME. It's not rocket science. Still, my stubborn ways got the best of me, and I took an extreme amount of tests in a few days time before my period arrived. Guess what? I still was not preggers, believe it or not. ;)
I will discuss my issues with the two-week wait later on, but I now find myself resisting the impulse to take a pregnancy test every day. I know that my HCG levels are not high enough to detect a pregnancy after my IUI on Friday, but I can't help it. I want to know NOW. No, let's be real. I wanted to know YESTERDAY. Alas, I shall resist. Put the test down, Kay; put it down. You need to wait.
And wait I will. 10 days and counting.... :)
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