For the first time, these women helped me realize that I was not alone in my infertility struggle. They helped me realize that it's OK to feel what you need to feel, cry when you need to cry, share what you want to share, and find peace in things that bring you joy. They helped me realize that there are people out there who understand what you are going through and share the same kind of heartache, pain, and disappointment you've felt for so long. They helped me realize that I am a fighter, one who WILL be a mother and one who WILL come out stronger at the end of this. Their thoughts and prayers mean more to me than words can express.
One might think that a room full of women struggling with infertility would be depressing. I myself wondered whether this would be the case at first. Luckily, this could not be farther from the truth. I found myself looking forward to every Wednesday night's class "check-in", an opportunity for us to say how we were doing and what fertility updates, if any, we had to share. I was amazed how comfortable I felt so early on with these women who were basically strangers to me. Something about the atmosphere spoke to me, put me at ease, and allowed me to share my innermost thoughts and dreams in a calm, natural way.
Along the way, one of the women became pregnant. She then stopped coming, so I hope she's doing OK. In addition, our instructor announced that she was pregnant last night after a long battle with infertility, IVFs, and miscarriages. Their stories give me hope that my time will come and that I will become a parent when the time is right.
At the beginning and end of class yesterday, we had the chance to offer something up to the group. Being rather emotional these days, I, of course, cried my eyes out when it was my turn. These peers gave me the courage to begin writing down my journey, something I never before felt comfortable or brave enough to do. These ladies empowered me to believe that we are in this together, we will overcome, and we will all be mothers someday. These ladies helped inspire a new sense of calm and peace in me, one where I can now actively drive out negative thoughts and replace them with positive visions and aspirations.
I genuinely hope I can keep in touch with all of these remarkable women and feel blessed to have met them. While the "club" of infertility was never one I wanted to join, as I've said before, I am grateful that my journey brought me to these women. They have given me more strength and hope than they realize.
One of my new friends in the group offered a few quotes and a prayer for us last night that I'd like to share with you:
"Fail seven time, get up eight." - Japanese proverb.
"Our greatest glory is not in failure but in rising up every time we fail." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
“May the sun bring you new energy by day,
May the moon softly restore you by night,
May the rain wash away your worries,
May the breeze blow new strength into your being.
May you walk gently through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life.” - Apache Blessing
And what a beautiful life it is....
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