Just RELAX!

I can't stand people who tell me to relax. "Just relax and stop thinking about it, and you'll be pregnant in no time!" they say. These people drive me nuts. Many of them got pregnant on the first try or have no idea what it's like to not be able to have something you want so desperately. No, I will not relax, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Trying to get pregnant is equivalent to an emotional roller coaster you don't remember ever purchasing a ticket for. It's the drink you didn't order. It's the relatives you would prefer never to see again. It's hoping for the best for expecting the worst....each and every month.

Those of you who have been through infertility know what it's like. Your period is a day or two late, you get your hopes up, you get a little spotting (and hope that it's implantation bleeding), and then, inevitably, you wake up the next morning to full bleeding. Yes, good 'ol Aunt Flo (called AF on pregnancy chat boards) has arrived. But who invited her anyway?!!

Everyone has their own advice on what to do and not do when trying to conceive. I gave you my to do list on Saturday, which I try my best to adhere to. You can easily make yourself crazy trying to stick to all of these rules and quickly become paranoid. I used to not drink at all after ovulating each month. Now, I've relaxed a bit and enjoy the occasional glass of white wine (or two) because I love it and it relaxes me. I'm sure my future baby will forgive me. Moreover, I no longer spend my salary on pregnancy tests. If my period is REALLY late (We're talking 5 or more days here), then I will indulge myself in the purchase of an economy pack of pregnancy tests (to last me several months, of course). AF was evil for me last month and arrived 7 days late. Really??!! NOT cool, AF, NOT cool at all.

There are also those people who like to pretend they know everything about trying to become pregnant just because they have kids. Take, for example, one of my dear colleagues, who shall remain nameless. She got pregnant on the first try, is now expecting her third child in three years, and just CANNOT understand how I'm still not yet expecting. "Kay, you're too thin, too muscular, you exercise too much, you're too type A, just give it time, you're in control of this...just relax!" Thanks, sweetheart. I appreciate the sentiments, but I'm not one of those lucky and ridiculously fertile women who can just roll over and get pregnant. Sorry.

Some of us have it a lot harder. Some of us have to learn to be patient and accept that we are NOT in control of this. Some of us have to endure months and months of agony, stress, waiting, and disappointment before achieving the ultimate goal of a pregnancy. Oh, and just because we get pregnant doesn't necessarily mean that we will STAY pregnant, but that's a conversation for another time. :)

I may not be one of the ridiculously lucky, fertile ones, but I am lucky to still be able to laugh and be sarcastic about the process. Not being pregnant after almost a year and a half of trying sucks big time, but I refuse to let myself be a victim here. I WILL be a mother, and I WILL succeed at this journey. I just can't wait to post the good news someday to this blog directly.....

Warrior women, unite!!