"If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present." - Lao Tzu
This is from a friend also struggling with fertility. Timely? I think so!
I received this email from my step-mother-in-law (I know that is a mouthful) yesterday as a fwd that someone had sent her…she is not aware of the fertility issues we are having so I thought this email was definitely a sign from someone looking out for me. I am not an overly religious person, but definitely spiritual and I thought this message was well timed….
“When God takes something from your grasp. This is not a punishment, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence. "The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."
For the past several weeks, I've had the pleasure of getting to know a phenomenal group of women through a Yoga for Fertility class. Every week, we have the opportunity to come together not just to practice healing yoga but to share our fertility journeys, lives, selves, hopes, dreams, and frustrations in a safe, nonjudgmental, and understanding setting. For the first time, these women helped me realize that I was not alone in my infertility struggle. They helped me realize that it's OK to feel what you need to feel, cry when you need to cry, share what you want to share, and find peace in things that bring you joy. They helped me realize that there are people out there who understand what you are going through and share the same kind of heartache, pain, and disappointment you've felt for so long. They helped me realize that I am a fighter, one who WILL be a mother and one who WILL come out stronger at the end of this. Their thoughts and prayers mean more to me than words can express. One might think that a room full of women struggling with infertility would be depressing. I myself wondered whether this would be the case at first. Luckily, this could not be farther from the truth. I found myself looking forward to every Wednesday night's class "check-in", an opportunity for us to say how we were doing and what fertility updates, if any, we had to share. I was amazed how comfortable I felt so early on with these women who were basically strangers to me. Something about the atmosphere spoke to me, put me at ease, and allowed me to share my innermost thoughts and dreams in a calm, natural way. Along the way, one of the women became pregnant. She then stopped coming, so I hope she's doing OK. In addition, our instructor announced that she was pregnant last night after a long battle with infertility, IVFs, and miscarriages. Their stories give me hope that my time will come and that I will become a parent when the time is right. At the beginning and end of class yesterday, we had the chance to offer something up to the group. Being rather emotional these days, I, of course, cried my eyes out when it was my turn. These peers gave me the courage to begin writing down my journey, something I never before felt comfortable or brave enough to do. These ladies empowered me to believe that we are in this together, we will overcome, and we will all be mothers someday. These ladies helped inspire a new sense of calm and peace in me, one where I can now actively drive out negative thoughts and replace them with positive visions and aspirations. I genuinely hope I can keep in touch with all of these remarkable women and feel blessed to have met them. While the "club" of infertility was never one I wanted to join, as I've said before, I am grateful that my journey brought me to these women. They have given me more strength and hope than they realize. One of my new friends in the group offered a few quotes and a prayer for us last night that I'd like to share with you:
"Fail seven time, get up eight." - Japanese proverb.
"Our greatest glory is not in failure but in rising up every time we fail." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
“May the sun bring you new energy by day,
May the moon softly restore you by night,
May the rain wash away your worries,
May the breeze blow new strength into your being.
May you walk gently through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life.” - Apache Blessing
Shady Grove Fertility nurses Karen Calabrese, RN and Elizabeth Zapp, RN discuss some of the common questions patients ask about the two-week wait.
Commonly Asked Questions
For most patients who undergo fertility treatment, the two-week wait before you have your beta (pregnancy test) can seem like an eternity. Each day seems longer than the last, and the question “Am I pregnant?” goes through your mind hundreds of times a day. One becomes hyperaware of your body’s every sensation. We all sympathize and wish there was some medical way to make the time shorter or easier for you. So we gathered some questions from our community, ran them by our nurse educators, and came up with some answers to your pressing two-week wait questions.
Q: What is the two-week wait?
A: The two-week wait is the period of time between the end of your fertility treatment cycle and beta hCG blood test – the test that determines whether or not you’re pregnant. It takes about two weeks from the time a fertilized egg implants in the uterine wall to start emitting enough of the hormone hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) to be detected by a blood test. We sometimes call the test a “beta” because the test actually measures a beta chain portion of the hCG hormone molecule and is officially named a ‘beta HCG “ test.
Q: Can I take a Home Pregnancy Test to see if I’m pregnant?
A: We recommend that you refrain from performing a home pregnancy test as they can render false results, either a false negative or false positive. A false positive result may be due to the fact that in many of our treatments, hCG, the same hormone that measures pregnancy, is given to “trigger” ovulation in many of our patients. Traces of the administered hCG can still be in your bloodstream and detectable by a test, even if implantation has not occurred. A false negative might occur as a low level of hCG may be undetectable in a urine test despite a pregnancy starting as these are less sensitive than the blood hormone tests we use.
On average, two weeks after your IUI or embryo transfer you will come back to our Center for your pregnancy test. This test is done by blood draw and measures the hCG levels produced by the developing embryo. The most reliable pregnancy test is the blood test we perform in our offices.
Q: What is happening to my body during the two-week wait?
A: During this time, you may feel as if you are about to start your period. Your body has been through a lot and the medications you’re taking are designed to promote the optimal environment for pregnancy. You may experience some cramping, spotting or light bleeding, abdominal bloating, fatigue, and breast tenderness. While you may be slightly alarmed to experience some of these symptoms, they are normal and do not signify that you are or are not pregnant.
Please note, if after your treatment you feel excessive bloating, shortness of breath, chest pain, or lower abdominal pains, you may have ovarian hyperstimulation and should call your clinical team immediately.
Q: Will I be taking medications during this time?
A: Yes. Most patients need to continue to take progesterone supplements in order to produce the same levels of hormones that would occur in early stages of pregnancy.
While most patients will supplement their progesterone via pill or vaginal insert, patients who are using donor egg or frozen embryos will use the injectible form of progesterone for their cycles.
Additionally, patients who undergo IVF, donor egg or frozen embryo transfers may also be prescribed estrogen supplements to help thicken and maintain the uterine lining.
Please do not stop taking these medications until you have been advised by the medical staff to do so.
Q: Can I continue my normal day-to-day activities during the two-week wait?
A: We tell all of our patients to be cautious during their first five days after their treatment. We recommend that you refrain from strenuous physical activities as well as sexual activities during that time as they may cause uterine contractions that might impair the implantation process. There is also a greater risk during that time of ovarian issues arising since, for many patients, the ovaries are still slightly enlarged at that point.
After those first few days, you can to start light aerobic activities such as yoga, swimming , moderate walking and swimming, and lightweight training on stairmaster or elliptical trainers – activities that can get their heart rate up, but are not demanding, impact on their bodies like jogging or impact aerobics or treadmills.
Q: Do I need to adjust my diet during this time?
A: No special diet is required, but we recommend that you start making nutritional choices as if you’re already pregnant. This means eating well balanced meals, no sushi or other raw or undercooked meats, avoiding high-mercury fish and soft cheeses, no alcohol, and continuing to take prenatal vitamins.
Q: Can I travel during the two-week wait (or thereafter if pregnant)?
A: We prefer that patients avoid traveling for the first few days post-treatment, primarily so that you are close to our center for examination should any problems develop. This also is true during and following the time of your pregnancy testing and ultrasound. Early pregnancy complications such as hyperstimulation, bleeding or pain can occur and we would want you near your team here for care. In addition, the rigors of travel, time zone changes, luggage, etc. leave you vulnerable to complications. Before you are schedule travel during this period of time, check with your nurse and team to se if this is at all advisable.
Q: What levels of hCG will determine if I’m pregnant?
A: Any positive level of beta hCG above 5 mIu/ml indicates a pregnancy has started (unless the test is done to early following an HCG trigger injection). A blood hCG number over 100 is a good first beta result but many, many ongoing pregnancies start out with a beta hCG level below that number. Higher numbers cannot predict a multiple pregnancy, only the ultrasound can determine that.
Additional beta tests will be performed ever 48 hours after the first positive test to confirm the hCG level continue to rise. We look for the level of hCG to rise about 60% or more in each of the additional tests. If the number continues to increase, we’re more confident that it’s likely a viable pregnancy.
We will then have you come in for ultrasounds usually between 6-7 weeks to determine if the embryo continues to develop into a fetus. At about 8+ weeks, our Center will refer you back to your OB/GYN to continue your prenatal care.
Q: If I am pregnant, how do you ‘count’ how far along we are?
A: As soon as it is determined that you are pregnant, we revert to the Obstetrical counting / dating system. This is done to avoid using one set of dates from the time of an IUI or IVF versus another set of dates used by obstetricians. The OB doctors determine pregnancy dating to be from the last menstrual period, at least 2 weeks prior to ovulation. Obviously, we often know more about when ovulation may have occurred than usually they do, but for convention we add two weeks to our dates to conform with the OB. As an example, if we know when ovulation was triggered and an IUI or IVF was performed, you’re your beta might be two weeks thereafter. If it is positive, the OB would say you are FOUR weeks pregnant, not two, and therefore so do we.
You first early pregnancy ultrasound is usually scheduled for you between 6-7 weeks Gestational Age. That is actually only 4-5 weeks from your IUI or embryo transfer. You just saved two weeks off the length of the 40 week pregnancy!!
Q: What are my next steps if I’m not pregnant?
A: If you aren’t successful, your nurse will advise you to stop your medications. You will have the opportunity to talk with your physician to review the past cycle and make a decision together about your next steps.
Q: How long after a failed cycle can I do another cycle?
A: While your physician will determine the timing of a new cycle, it’s not always necessary to take time off between cycles unless otherwise directed. Many of our patients are able to being their next treatment cycle immediately and for many a cycle of rest is recommended.
We know that these two weeks can be a very stressful time. Visit the SGF Facebook page if you’re looking for ways to help pass the time and get support from patients who understand what you are going through during this period of time. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to call your nurse.
UPDATE: No pregnancy this month, but we are ever hopeful for the next cycle! :)
Today I find out the results of our first IUI. Was it successful? Am I pregnant or not?
Up until Tuesday, I was convinced I was pregnant. I felt nauseous, my boobs were huge and ridiculously sore, I was tired all the time, and I just had this gut feeling. It's hard to explain, but I bet some of you know what I'm talking about.
Then I started spotting. Nothing major, just dark and brown bits of blood when I wiped. The spotting continued through Wednesday and yesterday on and off, appearing a bit heavier at times.
Now, this is the kind of phenomenon that can drive any woman trying to conceive crazy. Part of this is why I was so emotional yesterday, as I ended up thinking and assuming the worst. Like my husband, I tend to catastrophize and sometimes expect the worst when the unexpected happens. I certainly did not want to set myself up for more disappointment, heartache, or sadness than necessary.
My solution? Scour the internet to find stories of women in my situation, some of whom were bleeding and still pregnant and others who bled and ended up having their normal periods. The unknown is a scary place, and it is easy to psyche yourself up or out. It is also easy to make yourself bonkers about ALL of the crazy information that is out there. What begins as a simple Google search of "heavy implantation bleeding" quickly turns into 10 online pregnancy tests, 200 posts you're reading from other TTC women on message boards, and 500 conflicting messages on the topic.
Counterproductive? Yes. Impossible not to read? Of course. Obsessive? Absolutely.
I don't care. I like getting information and being in the know. As previously stated, I can probably tell you any fact about pregnancy you'd like (or prefer not ever) to hear. I probably have done the same internet searches hundreds of times for no known reason, other than the comfort of seeing something I want to have happen written down. Hey, if she bled for 10 days heavily and was still pregnant, there's a chance for me, right? Her home pregnancy tests came back negative when she was pregnant, so what if I get a false negative? Ahh, the possibilities...the potential...the torture!
I am fully expecting my pregnancy test to come back negative today. As hopeful as I was, this bleeding freaked me out, and I have my doubts, even though I bled early on in my first pregnancy. Either way, I will be OK.
I am a strong warrior woman, and if this is not yet my time to be a mom, that time will come. I'm sure of it.
I am especially emotional today, so I will hold off on writing too much.
I am always on the look-out for prayers, quotes, and other positive sayings/phrases that can have profound healing and therapeutic powers during my infertility journey.
Here are a few of my favorites:
St. David's Infertility Prayer
Thank you, Lord, for all the blessings in my life. Help me to remember them as I face the challenges of infertility. I pray that I can surrender myself into your hands. Let me accept the reality of this situation and have the wisdom and courage to take action where I can. Strengthen my body, mind and spirit to endure the trials of infertility. Keep me ever mindful of the needs of others and grant us your peace. Amen.
Healing The Pain of Infertility
Dear Lord, the pain of infertility is so deep. All of our lives, we dream of being mothers, of raising children with loving hearts to do your will on this earth. Month after month when that dream does not come true, it so painful, Lord. We feel like our dreams die each month with empty arms. Please guide us to trust in your plan for us. We desperately need you in our lives. Thank you for all the blessings we do have, knowing through you all things are possible. Amen
St. Gerard's Prayer
Good St. Gerard, powerful intercessor before the throne of God, wonder-worker of our day, we call upon you and seek your aid. You know that this marriage has not as yet been blessed with a child and how much [husband's name] and [wife's name] desire this gift. Please present these fervent pleas to the Creator of life from whom all parenthood proceeds and beseech Him to bless this couple with a child whom they may raise as His child and heir of heaven. Amen.
And finally...
'I Give This Up to You'
Lord, help me to know that You are enough. Take my eyes off of myself. Take my eyes off of the child I desire. Help me to delight myself in You. Mold the desires of my heart to be in line with Your will. I don't want to need to be a mother more than I need to be your humble, obedient child. I don't want wanting to have a baby to be a stumbling block between You and me anymore.
Lord, I want to give this desire, this drive, this ache up to You. Help me not to snatch it back as I so often do with the burdens I place in Your hands. Help me to be truly content with Your will and Your timing.
Lord, You know that I still desire a baby - someone to mold, teach, train, shape, guide, and help to grow in You. But until the day You give me that joyous blessing, help me to grow in You. Let me reach out to those around me. Let me witness and minister to the children You place in my path.
Lord, if adoption is the path You would have us take, prepare our hearts, and prepare the child who will share our home. If adoption is not Your will for our lives, keep me from pushing ahead of Your plan. Help me to stay submitted to my husband's will, and to Your will. If we are headed in the wrong direction, change our hearts.
Thank You for lifting my burden. Help me to keep You first! Let me seek Your face daily, and let me know that You are enough!
As someone who can't wait to have children, it is often difficult for me to understand those with no desire to have offspring. Are they crazy??! Isn't childbearing and rearing the single most important job someone could have in their lifetime? Who wouldn't want to pass on their genes to a new generation (Let's face it; there are plenty of people who shouldn't but do anyway, time and time again...)?!
In trying to keep an open mind on the topic (Ha!), I came across a Time Magazine article from April 17 by a woman who does not want children and wants others to be OK with her decision and not berate her with endless questions.
I get it.
Her "Why don't you want children?" is equivalent to the countless times I am asked, "Do you have children?" I always struggle with how to respond to that. If you say "No" flat out, the other person will inevitably say, "Why not? You'd be a great mother!"But if you say, "Not yet," other just as unpleasant questions will likely arise. Clearly, this is a lose-lose situation. I often respond that I have pet children. Then they tend to get annoyed and change the topic. ;)
Anyway, I wanted to share this article with you because it offers a unique perspective our society is often not kind toward, those of childless adults who are perfectly happy being so. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the piece!
--
Stop Telling Me I’ll “Change My Mind” About Wanting Kids
As a woman of a certain age — and really ever since I hit puberty and my baby-making parts were suddenly subject to public debate — I’ve been told over and over again that I will “change my mind” about not wanting kids. I have been told this by friends (who also once insisted I would change my mind about being a vegetarian and loving Morrissey — they’ve gotten over that) and by random strangers at comedy clubs after they just paid good money to laugh at my stand-up routine where I say, “I can’t have another person running around the house who is more helpless than me.”
Once, at a friend’s wedding, I was cornered by another guest and forced to answer the question, “Well, what would happen if you accidentally got pregnant?” She was implying that under that circumstance, I would have to change my mind. A passing acquaintance, at a wedding, was basically confronting me about whether I would chooseabortion over my silly little lifelong commitment to not raising children, you know, if push came to shove.
I was livid. More than livid, I was embarrassed. I understand the pressure from parents who want to become grandparents, but from another woman, it’s bullying, plain and simple. Asking questions about why I don’t want kids is really none of your business, but at least it’s a dialogue. Telling me straight up that I will “change my mind” because you are so sure that I will suddenly realize one day that my decision is the wrong one — that’s not only rude, it’s an attack. And think about how painful that kind of statement might be to a woman who can’t have kids, and who has thus far been politely humoring you so she can get another glass of white wine before they shut down the open bar?
You can see this bullying in the media coverage of those who are “childfree by choice” (which sounds like a dull and defensive name for an otherwise fun group of people.) Arecent story about the declining birthrate in the U.S. stated that “many of those opting for childlessness have legitimate, if perhaps selfish, reasons for their decision,” and used the headline: “What makes sense for the individual may spell disaster for the country as a whole.” Disaster? Really??? Well then I guess I’ll be all set when we’re forced to colonize the moon — with all that money I saved by selfishly not having kids, I’ll be able to afford a ticket on Richard Branson’s space plane.
Why is it okay to impose on women sole responsibility for population growth (or decline — I’m looking at you, China), to label a childfree woman “selfish,” and then to insist that she just doesn’t know what she’s talking about and will eventually come around to a more rational line of thinking? I have never once sidled up to a group of moms watching their sweet little toddlers playing on the swing set, nodded knowingly and announced, “Believe me, you’ll change your mind.” I know enough to know that children are not like hair color, or college majors, or other things you can just “change your mind” about. Having a child is a lifetime commitment, the biggest one you can possibly make. It’s great that some women are so sure about wanting children, but I don’t think I’m cut out for raising a kid. If people are so convinced that I’ve made the wrong choice and will change my mind, what’s to prevent me from changing my mind back after I have a child?
I mean, clearly, we childfree types are terrible at making decisions.
This past weekend, one of my closest and longest friends texted me, telling me to call her when I got home from CT.
I told my husband, "I bet you she's pregnant."
"You've got pregnancy too much on the brain," he replied.
Ya think?! Haha.
Turns out my woman's intuition was correct. When we spoke yesterday, she announced that she was 14 weeks pregnant and due in December.
What touched me, aside from the actual announcement, was the graciousness and kindness with which she told me about the news. She explained that she had been reading my blog and understood what my hubby and I were going through, as she went through a similar experience with her husband. They had actually been trying to conceive even longer than us.
My friend explained to me that she got to the point of wondering whether a pregnancy would ever happen for her. She was beginning to lose all hope and positivity. In fact, she wasn't even expecting to be pregnant at all. When she felt ill and a little bit off beginning a few months ago, she assumed it was the flu or another medical issue. Even two pregnancy tests she took came back negative. Like me, she is a high risk pregnancy due to a medical condition. She and her husband starting trying to conceive even before they were married, as they knew this process could potentially be long and arduous.
It meant a great deal to me that she wanted to tell me the news herself and that she took the time to explain her own infertility journey to me. We both discussed what an awful process it is and that it is something we would wish on no one.
However, her story had a happy ending. Her baby is healthy, measuring well, and has a strong heartbeat. Her morning sickness has subsided, and she is finally getting a chance to enjoy her pregnancy. She seems happier and more at peace than she has in a long time.
I am grateful for her honesty and candor.
I am grateful for the sensitivity and consideration she used in announcing the news to me.
I am grateful for another happy ending and miracle.
Now, I am waiting for my miracle, as I know it's going to happen. I just don't know when. How about you?
I am a planner and always have been. I like to know what's happening and going to happen with my schedule every day. In fact, even as a preschooler, I would cry if my teachers didn't explain the daily schedule to me. This drove my mother crazy. Even at 30, I like to know what's going on. I like to be in control...all the time.
This is part of the reason why infertility is so hard for me to accept. This wasn't supposed to happen to me. It wasn't supposed to be like this. In my mind, I already had my first kid by now and would be starting to work on my second. This was supposed to be a piece of cake.
Well, life doesn't always happen like you expect it to. Still, I believe there's a reason for everything to happen as it does. Though we are in charge of our own destinies, we often have to relinquish control in certain situations and areas of life. Fertility is one of those venues.
It has been extremely difficult for me to accept that I am not in control of this situation. Something I want to achieve so badly is not within my full control. Something I've been trying to have for so long is beginning to seem like an unachievable dream that will never be fully realized.
I have six days until the blood test that will tell us whether our first IUI was successful. I am taking cheap pregnancy tests every morning for my own torture and entertainment. Each still says I'm pregnant. Time will tell. Patient I will try to be.
If good things come to those who wait, I am ready. Ready for my time to come. Ready to get that elusive BFP. Ready to finally be a parent of a healthy and happy child. Ready for the impossible to happen. And ready to accept that even though this may not happen on my desired timeline, it will happen when it's meant to.
Can I be OK with not knowing this particular schedule? God, I hope so.
Since 2011, I have devoured pregnancy and parenting books like a small child would candy. In fact, it is embarrassing to admit the amount of books and articles I have downloaded on my Kindle since that time. I could probably tell you absolutely ANY fact about pregnancy you ever wanted to know -- or could care less about.
This obsession has carried over to my passion for list creating. I love lists, especially to-do lists. I write them compulsively every day. Sometimes, I write down things I've already accomplished just for the sheer joy of crossing them out. Yes, I am sick. A sick organized fool who loves lists and getting things done efficiently.
Mentally, there is one list I continue adding to but have never actually written down. The prospect of actually getting this list down in writing seems exciting but exhausting to me. This list, of course, is THE list on How to Get Preggers. Here, I've taken countless golden nuggets of advice and put them in no particular order. I have resisted my mild OCD tendencies and narrowed down the items to just 21 (Why 21? Well, I was born on February 21 and have always liked the number 21).
1. Avoid Crossfit or exercising obsessively.
2. Refrain from ordering the number 4 two-cheeseburger meal with a medium fries from McDonald's.
3. Stop doing intensive 90-minute classes of Bikram yoga, and focus instead on more gentle yoga forms.
4. Get more sleep. - I now get at least 7 hours, which is an enormous accomplishment for me, especially for those of you who know me well.
5. Think positively. - The more you allow yourself to be trapped in a negative thought pattern, the more sucked in and influenced you will become to negativity. BAD.
6. Eat more vegetables and fruit. - I'm good with the fruit and still working on the vegetables. Do the veggies I put on my 6 inch weekly Subway tuna sandwich count??
7. Avoid spending 1.5 hours or more in the car every day for your commute. - Next school year, this will finally be a reality for me after six years!
8. Do something nice and kind for YOURSELF every day. - This is easier said than done!
9. Take prenatal vitamins. EVERY day
10. Drink ridiculous amounts of water EVERY day.
11. Drink alcohol in moderation. - I cannot live without my twice-weekly Moscatos; let's be honest.
12. Surround yourself with positive people who support, love, and cherish you. - Mean people suck, as we know. They are also self-centered and toxic to the baby-making journey, not to mention the life journey in general.
13. Maintain a healthy weight. - I learned this the hard way when I lost 15 pounds due to stress and depression in the fall. Don't worry; I've more than made up for that now. I love food. A lot. ;)
14. Find people who are also going through their fertility journey, and don't be afraid to share your story.
15. Get a massage as often as possible. - I try to aim for every other week!
16. Try accupuncture. - I have been doing this since last August and have seen considerable health benefits, especially with my kidney and liver pulses!
17. Try holistic herbs that support your body and help prepare for a future pregnancy. - Some of my favorites are royal jelly and cod liver oil.
18. Minimize the stress in your life. - I know this is funny, but it really IS a must!
19. Pet therapy works wonders. - Just ask our cat, Mikey, who is convinced he is a spoiled human. :)
20. Stay hopeful and positive. - We all have bad days, but make the good days more in number. A positive attitude and mindset goes a LONG way in helping make your baby dreams come true!
BONUS #21. Have sex every other day! - Trust me; this is huge.
I could go on, but I'll spare you and stop for now. I'd love to hear what else works for you!
Now I just need to start a list on How to STAY Preggers... ;)
This will promise a good laugh from you. Unfortunately, I can't claim credit for it, but these kinds of things are easy to find. Yay for the thousands of fertility, TTC, and pregnancy message boards and websites out there! This one is from fertilitycommunity.com. ODE TO INFERTILITY - 999 reasons to laugh at infertility 'Twas the night before your period and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even your spouse. The tampons were waiting in the bathroom with care, in hopes that Aunt Flow would soon NOT be there. Your future children were nestled, like dreams in your head, while visions of cramps start to come before bed. You're sure you are pregnant, your breasts are so ripe, you examine that toilet paper each time you wipe. But you just might be pregnant, you have all the signs, so why does this test never show those two lines? And you cry on the floor until you are ill, tomorrow you'll refuse your prenatal pill. "Come nausea, sore breasts, and frequent urination!" "On weight gain, fatigue and then to lactation!" We are getting impatient, our clocks start to tick, but each month all we do is pee on that stick. We know more about ovulation than our family doc, so please fill our womb before our friends newborns can talk! We thank all of our relatives for those sympathy hugs, but we've spent our whole salary on fertility drugs. Our spouse has more sex than his full teenage years, but this time he's not bragging to all of his peers. So before our next cycle, lead us the fertile way, Happy baby-making to all and keep periods at bay!
As aforementioned, Facebook can be an evil, soul- and time-sucking abyss, especially when it comes to fertility. Every time I log in, someone else has announced their pregnancy or posted a bazillion baby pics. Since these posts tug at my heart strings and generally piss me off, I've decided to compose a list of what to do and not do on social media outlets regarding your pregnancy. Here it goes:
1. DON'T post your positive pregnancy test strip. That's gross and far too early to announce your news to the world.
2. DON'T post your first sonogram picture as your pregnancy announcement. I mean, do you really want your womb visible to the world?!
3. DO wait until your second trimester to make your news official. Why risk it?!
4. DON'T announce your pregnancy in a overly cheesy, personal, or obnoxious way (ie: "Guess who has strong, healthy swimmers that efficiently attacked and dug into my egg? My hubby! We've created a baby!"). No thank you.
5. DON'T link any of your annoying pregnancy apps to your FB timeline. No one but you cares about what size fruit your fetus currently is this week.
6. If not pregnant, DON'T obsessively read pregnancy posts or announcements by others (this one courtesy of hubby).
7. DON'T announce that your pregnancy was a complete surprise. It makes the rest of us feel like shit.
8. DON'T comment on someone's photo and ask if they're pregnant. If she is , she'll tell you; I promise.
9. DON'T ever comment on how much weight a pregnant woman is or is not gaining or how big or small her baby bump is. That's territory you should ALWAYS stay clear of.
10. DON'T post intimate breast feeding photos. It weirds us normal people out.
11. DON'T ever post a picture of you in labor or giving birth. There's a reason we are all still scarred from that infamous birthing shot in Knocked Up.
12. DON'T overshare details of each and every pregnancy symptom. Please spare us.
13. DON'T post what celebrities are due around the same time as you. It spoils our weekly US Weekly reading.
14. DON'T complain about being pregnant or how sick your baby is making you. Simply deal with it and shut the hell up. Thanks.
15. DON'T post surveys or polls about your baby's gender or potential names. Just get it over with, and tell us when the time is right.
I'm sure you may call this list a bit bitter, but I'm not apologizing for it. Anyone struggling with TTC will understand.
When you want to buy a specific car, you often start seeing this car EVERYWHERE on the road. The same phenomenon is true when trying to get pregnant. The more you want to be preggers, the more pregnant women there seem to be. It truly is cruel.
Facebook is evil. Yes, I am a recovering addict from it, but what makes it even more difficult these days is the bombardment of postings related to new pregnancies, births, and small children. It never seems to end. Every time I log on, it seems like more people are announcing their pregnancies and posting their first sonograms. When I was preggers last year, I was tempted to announce my pregnancy very early on Facebook. Luckily, I decided not to. That would have been a bit awkward to announce our miscarriage on social media. I'm now determined to wait until after the first trimester to announce any future pregnancies. Why risk it?
It is difficult for me not to get emotional now every time someone close to me or in my family announces they are pregnant. I do genuinely want to feel happy and excited for them, but then there is the part of me deep down that wonders what that can't be me. What have I done wrong to have such a hard time getting pregnant? Why does everyone else seem to have it easier? Why do I feel so alone here? The questions and self-pity never end.
We've going home to my husband's parents' house in Connecticut this weekend. I fully expect his mom to ask how our fertility journey is going and when she can expect her first grandchild. I also expect nothing less from his grandparents, whom I've never met in the 12 years we have been together (Strange, I know, but they never leave the state of Maine).
In a lot of ways, going through infertility is a lot like having cancer ... except for the fact that no one ever asks how you're doing. My friend made this analogy on Wednesday night at our Yoga for Fertility class, and I could not agree more. It's a disease that no one can see, witness, or ever truly understand unless you have been through it yourself. It's a disease that can easily take over your life and most to all of your free time. It's a disease with no easy cure or timeline. It's a disease that doesn't discriminate; it doesn't matter who you are, where you're from, or what backgrounds you have. It's a disease you never asked for and often feel trapped in. Most of all, it's a disease that can be heartbreakingly lonely, sad, and depressing. I wonder when my cure will be, if there is one...
Before going through infertility, I would often ask people when they planned to have kids. Now, I avoid the topic like the plague. Frankly, it is none of my business, and it's none of theirs either to ask us. And I CAN be OK with that. After all, if money, religion, and politics are seen as taboo topics in conversation, shouldn't pregnancy and fertility be added to the list? I certainly think so...
Just after discussing my problems with impulse control with you, I have failed you. Yes, I gave into the temptation and took a pregnancy test this morning. It said it was positive.
I know, I know. I should be thrilled, but instead, I am a nervous wreck. What if it is a false positive? What if some of the HCG is still leftover in my system from the trigger shot over a week ago? I've heard it can take up to 7-10 days for this hormone to leave your system, so I'm trying NOT to get my hopes up too high.
I may have unnecessarily excited my husband this morning about the prospect of us being pregnant again. We are cautious this time around now. We are not allowing ourselves to get over-the-moon excited until we hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. After that, the chance of miscarriage is less than 2 percent. Fingers crossed all goes well!
I think someone needs to invent a pregnancy test that detects whether you're pregnant at the moment of conception. Wouldn't that be AMAZING? I know, I know, that really isn't medically possible, but a girl can dream, right?
For those of you who find yourself spending half your paycheck on pregnancy tests, check out this economy pack from Amazon that seems reliable (See? I told you I was an Amazon addict!): http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004AOMAOG/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1. 50 pregnancy tests for $18.99 with awesome reviews? Yes, please!
Speaking of cool things I've found, this blog's readers have alerted me to four amazing online resources everyone TTC or struggling with infertility needs to check out:
Oh, I just randomly thought of a new strategy, thanks to reading the millions of TTC message boards in existance (esp. those focusing on IUIs). Perhaps I should take a pregnancy test every morning to see if the line gets darker or disappears entirely. The darker it gets, the better chance we are actually pregnant. Any line that appears after it disappears also indicates a pregnancy. Hey, as long as this doesn't drive me crazy, it's worth trying, right?
It's no secret. I have an impulsive personality. I often do things on a whim, especially when it involves online shopping (I'm a recovering addict on that front and should be banned from Amazon for life). I often act before I truly think about the consequences. Combined with my OCD and Type A personality, this can be a disastrous mix.
Take, for example, my need to "nurture" things. Growing up, I had a pet-sitting service where I took care of all my neighbors' pets beginning in 5th grade. I was going to be a veterinarian. Now I'm a middle school English teacher. It's OK; I've gotten over it. Somewhat. Anyway, my need to nurture has often resulted in me bringing various pets home, from guinea pigs, a puppy, and a cat to two ferrets, whom we adopted in April.
At the time, the ferrets sounded like a fantastic idea -- they are smart, hilarious, cute, and could easily make you laugh. Plus, they get along well with cats (We have one) and don't quite require the level of commitment of a dog (Kinda). My determination to get these ferrets happened quickly and resulted in one of the worst fights of my five-year marriage. I wanted these little guys desperately. My husband? Hell no.
My husband is a smart man. He knows and understands that I always eventually get what I want after he becomes too exhausted to argue or fight anymore. Yes, he gave in to the ferrets. Now, what has happened? The ferrets are gone, since they saw our entire new house as a bathroom they could shit all over. In fact, when we were in the Outerbanks for Memorial Day, not only did the ferrets somehow escape from their secure cage (See? I told you they were smart!), but they also knocked down the pet gate and had free reign over their house. The spot they decided to poop the most on? Why, Greg's office, of course! As you can imagine, the ferrets were gone within 24 hours of us arriving back home.
While also an impulsive decision on my part, acquiring our rescue cat has been a source of great joy to both of us. That's an example of a time where my impulsivity and persistence paid off to both of our benefits. The ferrets? Not so much.
Luckily, I didn't impulsively decide to stop taking my birth control pills and get pregnant without telling the hubby. That would be bad. Very bad. The decision to want a child and try to start having one came over time. Yes, I was ready first, but Greg was not too far behind last February. So, I'm thinking maybe we should have been more impulsive when we were younger. I probably would have already had a child by now! Oh, cruel reality.
Since TTC, I now have a severe urge to purchase ovulation kits and pregnancy kits every time I walk into CVS (which is often, since I banned myself from Target, which was toxic to my impulsive spending tendencies). I gave into this urge last March to a huge extreme when I spent over $100 in pregnancy tests. Now, ladies, if you're not pregnant, it doesn't matter how many times you take a pregnancy test. The result is still going to be the SAME. It's not rocket science. Still, my stubborn ways got the best of me, and I took an extreme amount of tests in a few days time before my period arrived. Guess what? I still was not preggers, believe it or not. ;)
I will discuss my issues with the two-week wait later on, but I now find myself resisting the impulse to take a pregnancy test every day. I know that my HCG levels are not high enough to detect a pregnancy after my IUI on Friday, but I can't help it. I want to know NOW. No, let's be real. I wanted to know YESTERDAY. Alas, I shall resist. Put the test down, Kay; put it down. You need to wait.
Does anyone else ever feel like your vagina has betrayed you? Oh, I do. Believe me, I do.
First, there's the whole business of the monthly "Aunt Flo." Next, I don't know about you, but my vagina is ACTIVE -- as in, there is always something coming out of her. Sometimes, I am convinced she wants to put on a pair of high heels and run away into the night. Vaginas are scary. And confusing. And so God-damn frustrating.
Today, my vagina decided to be extra active. For anyone trying to get pregnant, it can be very easy to over-analyze what comes out of her. Does this mean I am ovulating? What thickness is the vaginal discharge now? Should we have sex? What IS this vagina trying to tell us? Oh, vaginas. So frustrating. I wish some sort of delivery pigeon could emerge from our vaginas and tell us whether we are expecting a child. Or maybe a stork would be more appropriate? :)
My apologies to the men reading this. Actually, no. No apologies. You don't have to deal with a monthly menstrual flow, though I'm sure you enjoy our company while we're PMSing for sure. Haha. The vagina is like a mysterous cave with so many intricate details and openings; I do honestly feel (a wee bit) sorry for the men who have to navigate them. At least their sex organ is obvious to decipher and simple to use and explore. Hmmmm......
OK, back to trying to get pregnant. Yes, I feel as though my vagina has betrayed me. I spent over a decade working hard NOT to get pregnant (Hello daily birth control pills, taken at the exact same time every day!) that now that the goalie is released and all systems are a go, the vagina should know what to do. Let those sperm in, guide them up to the egg with some fertile cervical mucus, and then let the insemination party begin. Sounds simple, right?
Oh no. My vagina has decided to produce toxic cervical mucus that trap the poor swimmers and prevent them from reaching their desired destination. Have I verified the toxicity of this mucus? Of course not, but I need a scapegoat somewhere. My vagina ia also evil in having AF come at different times each month. Sometimes, she appears 3 days early, on time, or even up to 7 or 8 days late. This is cruel. Cruel, I tell you. This probably means I ovulate at different times every month, which means I better pay extra careful attention to my vaginal discharge if I ever want to get preggers in this lifetime. Those poor sperm...
I know, I know. So much self-loathe can be detrimental to the baby-making process, particularly for those already having fertility issues and difficulties like myself. I deserve to feel what I am feeling, though, as my therapist always says. Feel those feelings, and express them.
I guess using sarcasm and humor in this blog is my unique opportunity to express these emotions and hope that my vagina gets the message. Fast.
I can't stand people who tell me to relax. "Just relax and stop thinking about it, and you'll be pregnant in no time!" they say. These people drive me nuts. Many of them got pregnant on the first try or have no idea what it's like to not be able to have something you want so desperately. No, I will not relax, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Trying to get pregnant is equivalent to an emotional roller coaster you don't remember ever purchasing a ticket for. It's the drink you didn't order. It's the relatives you would prefer never to see again. It's hoping for the best for expecting the worst....each and every month.
Those of you who have been through infertility know what it's like. Your period is a day or two late, you get your hopes up, you get a little spotting (and hope that it's implantation bleeding), and then, inevitably, you wake up the next morning to full bleeding. Yes, good 'ol Aunt Flo (called AF on pregnancy chat boards) has arrived. But who invited her anyway?!!
Everyone has their own advice on what to do and not do when trying to conceive. I gave you my to do list on Saturday, which I try my best to adhere to. You can easily make yourself crazy trying to stick to all of these rules and quickly become paranoid. I used to not drink at all after ovulating each month. Now, I've relaxed a bit and enjoy the occasional glass of white wine (or two) because I love it and it relaxes me. I'm sure my future baby will forgive me. Moreover, I no longer spend my salary on pregnancy tests. If my period is REALLY late (We're talking 5 or more days here), then I will indulge myself in the purchase of an economy pack of pregnancy tests (to last me several months, of course). AF was evil for me last month and arrived 7 days late. Really??!! NOT cool, AF, NOT cool at all.
There are also those people who like to pretend they know everything about trying to become pregnant just because they have kids. Take, for example, one of my dear colleagues, who shall remain nameless. She got pregnant on the first try, is now expecting her third child in three years, and just CANNOT understand how I'm still not yet expecting. "Kay, you're too thin, too muscular, you exercise too much, you're too type A, just give it time, you're in control of this...just relax!" Thanks, sweetheart. I appreciate the sentiments, but I'm not one of those lucky and ridiculously fertile women who can just roll over and get pregnant. Sorry.
Some of us have it a lot harder. Some of us have to learn to be patient and accept that we are NOT in control of this. Some of us have to endure months and months of agony, stress, waiting, and disappointment before achieving the ultimate goal of a pregnancy. Oh, and just because we get pregnant doesn't necessarily mean that we will STAY pregnant, but that's a conversation for another time. :)
I may not be one of the ridiculously lucky, fertile ones, but I am lucky to still be able to laugh and be sarcastic about the process. Not being pregnant after almost a year and a half of trying sucks big time, but I refuse to let myself be a victim here. I WILL be a mother, and I WILL succeed at this journey. I just can't wait to post the good news someday to this blog directly.....
I almost had a complete breakdown this morning. After the hubby arefully collected his special sperm sample at home, we drove into Shady Grove Fertility separately. I did my best to keep the collection container upright throughout the drive.
Once at the office, the hubby opened the brown bag with the sample container and saw that the sample had leaked. Oh no! We were both terrified that this meant we would have to cancel this cycle and start over again next month with another IUI. Luckily, my amazing husband rallied and was able to dutifully collect another sample. Phew! We were beyond relieved.
Apparently, I was supposed to sign in at the front desk again, which I neglected to do, so we ended up waiting longer than necessary for the actual IUI procedure. Once I explained to them what happened and how I had students waiting for me at school, the wonderful nurses made it happen. Within a minute (and then 5 additional minutes of lying on the table), the procedure was done.
For those of you unfamiliar with what an IUI is, it stands for intrauterine insemination. During the procedure, a sample of washed and very healthy/strong sperm is placed via catheter directly into the uterus. This is supposed to maximize their chances of making contact with the egg and eliminate any problems related to toxic cervical mucus, sperm swimming in the wrong direction, and/or only a few sperm actually making it into the uterus.
This is the first month we have used Clomid and done an IUI, so we are cautiously hopeful. Realistically, there is only a 16-18% chance a pregnancy will result, but we both feel like the chances are greater than other months we've tried to conceive. In two weeks, I return to Shady Grove for a pregnancy test -- fingers crossed! It will be the day before we head out west for two weeks. In the meantime, I have to take two different supplements vaginally to help increase the thickness of my uterine lining to create an ideal space for a developing embryo.
So far, I have not had any side effects to the medication or procedure, which is very lucky. Clomid is known to make women either nauseous or exhausted, but so far, so good for me. Knock on wood! I have some moderate cramping after the IUI, which is supposedly normal. We are keeping the hope alive!
I've started reading Instant Mom by Nia Vardalos (http://www.amazon.com/Instant-Mom-ebook/dp/B0089LOH8S/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370620351&sr=8-1&keywords=instant+mom), per the recommendation of a friend at school also undergoing fertility treatments. It is a hilarious, well-written memoir of Vardalo's 10 year struggle to get pregnant and successful adoption from the American foster care system. Greg and I have talked about adoption and have mixed feelings, primarily due to some horror stories both sets of our extended families have undergone with domestic adoptions. While we would obviously much rather have a child with our own genes, it is also difficult to ignore the fact that there are over 129,000 children in the American foster care system legally emancipated from their birth parents and looking for new happy, stable homes. We are not shutting the door to this possibility, if and when it comes to that.
Throughout my fertility journey, I have learned that it is OK to feel what you need to feel and accept that you are not in control of everything. As an overachieving perfectionist and type A personality, this is a lot easier said than done. I have succeeded at so many things in my 30 years of life that infertility was an unwelcome and unexpected surprise. Why do I have such trouble conceiving when other friends and women seemed to just roll over and get pregnant? Why didn't I have children earlier (ie: in my 20s)? Why is this so difficult for us when the cause is unexplained? How long do we have to wait for a child? Did I do something wrong to deserve this?
The answers to any of these questions are not easy and perhaps not fair. What I do know, though, is that this entire experience has brought us closer as a couple, partners, and best friends. We know we can get through anything together and come out stronger -- and more united -- in the end. I am blessed to have such a supportive, kind, intelligent, loving, and generous husband who not only wants a child as much as I do but also stands by me every step of the way. He is a rare gem, and I feel eternally grateful to have met him in 2001 and married him in 2008.
Whatever the future may bring, I feel confident that it involves children for us, whether through a natural birth or other non-traditional means of parenthood. I refuse to let myself give up or give in to all the negative thoughts that can come swirling around in circles endlessly through my mind. I refuse to feel sorry for myself. I refuse to feel bitterness, sadness, or jealousy when my close friends become pregnant or give birth. I refuse to be a victim. Instead, I will continue to choose to be a strong warrior woman, one who is prepared for the next disappointment, challenge, struggle, or victory. I refuse to stop being a fighter. How about you?
As I mentioned in yesterday's post, my husband and I are in the middle of our first IUI cycle. Basically, this means I start with blood and an ultrasound on Day 3 of my cycle, take Clomid for five days, inject myself with Gonal-F to help with egg growth on Day 9, and then return to the office on Day 11 for more bloodwork and another ultrasound. Fun, fun!
Yesterday, the nurse discovered I had 17 active egg follicles. She said I really responded to the Clomid, which is excellent. Two of the follicles appeared so large that she thought they might be ovarian cysts; luckily, they are not. Due to their maturity, the doctor said it was time to trigger. This meant I got to inject myself in the stomach last night a second time to "trigger" ovulation. Surprisingly, it really was not that bad. The doctor also prescribed another drug to help thicken my uterine lining. Perhaps that's one of the reasons I have trouble getting and staying pregnant?
Timed intercourse is always interesting. It's difficult to stay relaxed but important to do so. I am happy to say that we succeeded at this last night. The cat even left us alone -- haha. Today is an "off" day where we are not required to do anything but take my uterine lining medication. Tomorrow morning, I drop off the hubby's "sample" of sperm at 8 a.m., and the actual IUI is at 9:30 a.m. It is supposed to be painless, quick, and easy. I am excited just to get it done!
Every Wednesday night for the past several weeks, I have taken a Yoga for Fertility class, which has also served as a support group of eight wonderful women also experiencing their own fertility journeys and difficulties. While each has their own story and complications, a common theme quickly emerged -- solidarity and hope for the future. When going through this, it is easy to think you are alone and that no one understands your pain, hopelessness, or anxiety levels. These women help me to see how common these problems are and how therapeutic it can be to share out own's issues and dreams with others who really understand. I am grateful for having met each and every one of these women and look forward to staying in touch with them in the future.
I also recently finished a book entitled Inconceivable" A Woman's Triumph over Despair and Statistics, which tracks the journey of a woman in her early 40s who was told she could never have another child by every doctor and specialist she visited. Despite this troublesome news, she goes ahead and tries every kind of positive change to her diet, exercise, and holistic regiment to become stronger, healthier, and cleaner, on the inside and out. Several months later, the changes seem to be working, and sure enough, a positive pregnancy test follows. Her candor, insight, and brutal honesty is freshing, and I would really recommend the book to anyone interested in learning about a woman's improbable but successful pregnancy journey. Here is the Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/Inconceivable-Triumph-Despair-Statistics-ebook/dp/B000FC1IRW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370522719&sr=8-1&keywords=inconceivable.
The most frustrating part of this fertility journey is the fact that I am NOT in control, as much as I hate to admit that. Having wanted to get pregnant yesterday, I have to be patient, kind, and understanding of my body and mind to move forward productively and healthfully. This is not easy, and there are times when I wonder whether I am even meant to have children. Maybe it's just not in the cards for me. Maybe I should be happy with my pet children. Maybe we should consider adoption or a surrogate.
One thing's for sure, though -- I am determined, optimistic, and proactive in this journey and still confident that we will have a healthy, beautiful child at the end of all this. And we'll be sure to tell that baby just how lucky we are to finally have him or her in our lives.
Like 10-15 percent of the American population, I am struggling to get pregnant. The infertility club is never one that I wanted to join but gradually had to admit membership in earlier this year.
My fertility journey began in February 2012, when my husband and I decided to start trying to have a baby. I remember that first month; I was so confident, so hopeful, so positive that we would get pregnant right away with no problems. I even told some people this might be the last time I would be drinking for awhile. Little did I know what was in store!
When my period didn't arrive on time in March 2012, I must have spent over $100 on various pregnancy tests to try to get that elusive positive result I assumed would appear. No such luck. My hopes were dashed on a spring break trip down to Florida to visit my parents. Aunt Flo appeared with vigor, and I was devastated. I cried for hours, trying to muddle the sounds of my tears in my pillow. The hubby cried a bit too.
For the next five months, he and I boarded an emotional rollercoaster ride entitled "Trying to Get Pregnant." Inevitably, there were soaring highs and devastating lows, especially when Aunt Flo arrived or yet another pregnancy test said "Not pregnant." In the process, I tried to stay busy and keep my life as normal as possible. Still, I felt an undeniable sadness and hole in my heart for the missing piece of our family -- a baby.
In late August, the school year started, and so did a very difficult transition period for me. As a Literacy Resource Teacher wearing mutiple leadership hats and teaching 100 students in a high-poverty urban middle school outside Washington, DC, I became stressed, overwhelmed, and then eventually clinically depressed. Three hospital visits, daily medications, and weekly therapy helped, but my husband and I basically went through hell. Thankfully, I emerged from this darkness with more resilience and inner strength than I thought possible.
Then came the unforgettable day on Tuesday, November 27, 2012. My period was late, my boobs were sore, I felt nauseous, and I felt different....just different. Sure enough, the very faint second line on the pregnancy test confirmed my suspicions were accurate. I was pregnant!
I began to think that the lessons I learned in the fall was the last remaining "test" before it was "my time" to get pregnant. Slowly, I began sharing the wonderful news with both sets of parents, close friends, and a few trusted colleagues. Like us, they were over the moon happy for us.
Entering Christmas break, the hubby and I were extremely content and busy. We had multiple weddings to attend up north and looked forward to quality time with his family in Connecticut over the holidays. All went well....until I started bleeding heavily. The blood just kept coming, and then powerful, vicious cramping began. I ended up miscarrying on Christmas Eve, of all days. I was 8 weeks and 2 days pregnant.
The miscarriage was one of the most painful events I've endured, as it was for the hubby. I spent the next few months trying to stay optimistic and take advantage of this "very fertile" time. I visited online support groups, read a handful of interfility/loss books, connected with a colleague at school who also suffered a miscarriage, resumed my accupuncture appointments, practiced gentle yoga, ate right, and tried to keep my exercise moderate. I wanted to create the best conditions possible for my next pregnancy to happen -- and go to full term.
Now, it's June 2013. We have gone over five months with no such luck with getting pregnant again. In early April, we decided to get tested at Shady Grove Fertility to rule out any other problems with either of us. The tests all came back normal, putting us in the "unexplained infertility" category. Our doctor suggested starting Clomid and our first IUI cycle, which we are currently in the middle of. Our journey continues, and we are trying to stay as positive as possible that we WILL -- and can -- have a child.
Writing has always been a therapeutic medium for me, and I hope that my story can allow other women to know and recognize that they are NOT alone in this infertility journey. Together, sharing our stories can help us be more informed, comfortable, confident, and empowered. I look forward to documenting my journey and hope you enjoy my story along the way.
As George Washington Carver boldly stated, "Where there is no vision, there is no hope." Together, we are stronger and more capable of enduring whatever comes our way in our fertility and life journeys. Keep the faith and hope alive each and every day!
